ฝึกเขียนไดอารี่ภาษาอังกฤษ ครั้งที่ 2
(แก้ไขเรียบร้อย + คอมเม้นต์ยาวมากๆเหมาะสำหรับคนชอบอ่านเน๊าะ เพราะเขียนผิดเยอะมากๆ ^^; )
วันนี้ได้อ่านคอมเม้นต์และเรียนรู้อย่างเต็มที่ จึงยังไม่มีข้อสงสัยใดๆ
ต้องกลับไปอ่านทวนและลองเขียนใหม่ตามคำแนะนำให้ดีกว่านี้
ไดอารี่ 19.04.2021
ไดอารี่ 19.04.2021
**สิ่งที่ได้เรียนรู้เพิ่มเติมจากไดอารี่นี้ก็คือ**
1. เวลาเขียนถึงคนอื่นหรือคนในครอบครัว ชาวต่างชาติก็ถ่อมตัวให้เกียรติคนที่อาวุโสมากกว่าเรา เช่น เวลาเขียนภาษาไทยบางทีเราเขียน ฉันและแม่ แต่ชาวต่างชาติจะเป็น แม่และฉัน ขึ้นก่อน เพื่อความสุภาพ เข้าใจล่ะ ทำไมเขาถึงบอกว่า เลดี้เฟิร์ส ก็คราวนี้ล่ะนะ ให้นำชื่อ แม่ขึ้นก่อนตัวเรา อันนี้เพิ่งจะรู้
2. เวลาเขียนประโยคอะไรก็ตามก็ให้ไวยากรณ์มันอยู่ในแนวเดียวกัน เช่น จะใช้ Active voice ก็ใช้เหมือนกันทั้งหมด จะใช้ Passive voice ก็ใช้เหมือนกันทั้งหมด
3. ใช้ Active voice ดูมีระดับภาษาสูงขึ้น เป็นรูปแบบที่นักศึกษาหรือนักเรียน ม.ปลายใช้กัน
4. เวลาเขียนควรเลี่ยงการเขียนแบบ Passive voice
ไว้มีไอเดียอะไรใหม่ๆเพิ่มเติมจะมาเขียนเพิ่มนะ
The second diaries (ยังไม่แก้ไข)
Monday 19th April, 2021
Today, I woke up around 8 a.m. again, and take a look at my diaries blogs on the website name’s Blockdit. Many visitors come to visit my blogs look like they’re interested in English more than Japanese language. ^^; I think I have some of power to write the diaries more than the first day. If I have times I would like to practice to write the diaries in English every week.
In the afternoon, I went to Yainom papaiya salad shop again. I bought a papaiya salad, rice noodles, and vietnamese pork sausage, called “Mooyor”. After I and mom finished the lunch.
Suddenly, I started to write the diaries for today. While I was writing the contents, I was listening to the English song names “Rainy days and Mondays”, and “Country roads”. Then I was trying to notice the grammar in the song lyrics. It was fun more than trying to remember the grammar.
This is only my small ideas for starting to learn English grammars for me. I was using times to writing this content for today around 1 hour. (Lol)
It’s time for cooking rice or something for dinner.
Thank you for today.
The second diary. (แก้ไขใหม่แล้ว)
Monday April 19th, 2021
Today, I woke up around 8 a.m. again, and took a look at my diary blog on the website named Blockdit. Many visitors to visit my blog look like they’re interested in English more than Japanese. ^^; I think I have more energy to write the diary than the first day. If I have time I would like to practice writing in English every week, if I can.
In the afternoon, I went to Yainom papaiya salad shop again. I bought a papaiya salad, rice noodles, and vietnamese pork sausage, called “Mooyor”. After Mon and I finished the lunch.
Suddenly, I started to write the diary for today. While I wrote the contents, I listened to the English song named “Rainy days and Mondays”, and “Country roads”. Then I tried to notice the grammar in the song lyrics. It was more fun than trying to remember the grammar.
This is only my small idea for starting to learn English grammar for me. I used time to write this content around 1 hour today. (Lol)
It’s time for cooking rice or something for dinner.
Thank you for today.
☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️
☘️The comment🍀
Monday (#1) 19th April, 2021
Today, I woke up around 8 a.m. again,
and (#2) take a look at my (#3) diaries blogs on the website (#4) name’s Blockdit.
Many (#5) visitors come to visit my blogs look like they’re interested in (#6) English more than Japanese language. ^^;
I think I have (#7) some of power to write the diaries more than the first day.
If I have (#8) times I would like (#9) to practice to write the diaries in English every week.
In the afternoon, I went to Yainom papaiya salad shop again. I bought a papaiya salad, rice noodles,
and vietnamese pork sausage, called “Mooyor”. After (#10) I and mom finished the lunch.
Suddenly, I started to write (#11) the diaries for today. (#15) While I was writing the contents,
I was listening to the English song names “Rainy days and Mondays”, and “Country roads”.
Then I was trying to notice the grammar in the song lyrics.
It was (#12) fun more than trying to remember the grammar.
This is only my small (#13) ideas for starting to learn English (#13) grammars for me.
I (#14) was using times to writing this content for today around 1 hour. (Lol)
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
ข้อคิดเห็นเกี่ยวกับบทความที่เขียน
You may notice more corrections on this one but that's okay! I still understood the majority of everything written. Most of what I am correcting is grammar which many native English speakers struggle with as well.
1. Depending on the country, this is either correct or incorrect. European countries usually write the date in this format: day, month, year. Americans for some reason write the date in this format: month, day, year. So for the US, the date would read April 19th, 2021. I think our format is weird and doesn't make sense but that's how we write it lol.
2. Remember to keep the same verb tense. Because you wrote 'I woke,' the word 'take' also needs to be the same tense. For this sentence, it would be "I woke up around 8am again and took a look..."
3. This should probably be 'diary blog' or 'diary blogs.' The reason diary stays singular (one) is because it is describing the word 'blogs.' For example, we wouldn't say "I like reds cars." We would say "I like red cars." Same idea here.
4. This word should be either 'named' or 'called.' Either one works but it needs to be the past tense version of the verb because it was named in the past.
5. Sometimes you do not need as many words to describe your thought. Here it would sound better if this were written, "Many visitors to my blog look like they're interested..."
6. We have two versions here where half is correct and half is not. If we use the word 'language' in the sentence, we need to put 'the' in front of it. For example, "...look like they're interested in the English language more than the Japanese language." The reason for this is that English and Japanese are adjectives describing the word language.
If we don't use the word language, it would look like this, "...look like they're interested in English more than Japanese."
7. This is the only sentence where I'm not sure I understand. Might need Feliz to help me understand what you were trying to say here.
8. You will rarely need to add an 'S' to time to make it plural. Correct version here would be, "If I have time..."
9. Should be "I would like to practice writing..." This one is a little hard to explain but I will try. The reason it is not 'to write' is because in this sentence, 'writing' is a noun. The best way to think of this is, you would like to practice something but what is it that you want to practice? Writing is the thing you want to practice in this sentence. Other examples, "I want to practice swimming." "I want to practice speaking."
10. Switch to "mom and I." Best way to remember this is that we are trying to be polite. Let the other person go first :)
11. You are only writing one diary for today so keep this noun singular. "I started to write the diary for today."
12. Switch to "more fun." In English, the word describing the noun usually comes before the noun.
13. These are common mistakes I see with Thai English speakers. Feliz does this often too. Since this is just one idea, keep it singular: "This is only my small idea..." Grammar is spelled the same for both the singular and plural form so you do not need to add an 'S'
14 & 15. This is more advanced grammar (even for native English speakers) so don't feel bad if you do not understand right away. You use the word 'was' to describe a lot of thoughts or actions that happened in the past. In English grammar, this is called passive voice and good writers will try to avoid using the passive voice. When writing, if you can avoid it, try not to use 'was' before the verb/action. Examples from these two sentences are below:
Passive Voice:
"While I was writing the contents, I was listening to English songs named "Rainy Days & Mondays" and "Country Roads.""
"Then I was trying to notice the grammar in the song lyrics."
"I was using time to write this content for around 1 hour today."
Instead of using 'was' with the verb. Try to write in what is called the active voice. The same sentences from above are below:
Active Voice:
"While I wrote the contents, I listened to English songs named "Rainy Days & Monday" and "Country Roads.""
"Then I tried to notice the grammar in the song lyrics."
"I used time to write this content around 1 hour today."
This last part is high school/university level grammar so don't get frustrated if you don't understand at first. Many American students struggle with this. You are already writing at a high level for someone learning the language.
🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼
อันนี้เป็นตัวอย่างอีกแบบของคนที่อยู่ต่างประเทศมานานแต่ก็อาจจะยังมีข้อผิดพลาดอยู่ แต่จะดูเป็นธรรมชาติมากกว่าที่เราเขียนไปข้างต้น
Monday April 19th, 2021
Today, I woke up around 8 a.m. (again), I checked my diaries (#1) blogs on the website named Blockdit. I saw the numbers (#2) of readers on my blogs. It looks like they’re interested in learning English more than Japanese. ^^;
I think I have more energy to write than the first day. I would like to practice writing in English every week if I can.
In the afternoon, I drove to Yainom’s restaurant. Yainom sells famous Isan food. I bought papaya salad,rice noodles, and vietnamese pork sausages, called “Mooyor” to share with my mom for lunch.
After finished (#3) lunch I feel like writing (#4) again. While I was writing, I listen (#5) to the English songs called “Rainy days and Mondays”, and “Country roads”. I tried to understand grammar (#6) in the lyrics. It was fun more (#7) than try to remembering grammar (#8) from the book. Listening to English songs is one of an idea to someone who start learning English grammar (#9), you should try to do this more often. You may enjoy it like me. :)
I spent time writing this note for about 1 hour. (Lol)
It’s time to cook rice or find something for dinner now.
Thank you for reading.
🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼
ข้อคิดเห็นสำหรับบทความตัวอย่าง
1. What kind of blog? A diary blog. Since 'diary' is describing the blog, keep it singular.
2. Number should remain singular. Think of it this way: When you saw the number of readers to your blog, did you see one number or multiple numbers? You only saw one number so it should be, "...the number of readers."
3. Every sentence should have: subject + verb. After who finished lunch? "After I finished lunch."
4. Keep the same verb tense. We are talking about the past so we would say, "I felt like writing again"
5. Verb tense. You listened to the songs in the past so it should be, "I listened to English songs."
6. Very minor grammar mistake. "I tried to learn the grammar."
7. Flip it. Should be "more fun." How much fun? more fun.
8. Close but switch the form of each verb. "it was more fun than trying to remember grammar from the book." And yes, for some reason you don't need 'the' in front of grammar here. I honestly don't know how to explain that lol.
9. Rewritten: "Listening to English songs is one idea for someone who is starting to learn English grammar."
One is describing idea so you don't need 'of an.' A better word here would be 'for' because this is an idea for someone to try. Similar to #8, change the verb formats and it works.
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