To myself, who is choosing herself again
Sometimes, when we are about to make a decision,
I want you to try listening to the voice inside yourself for once.
Maybe the answer you’ve been searching for
has been waiting for this question
for a very long time.
On the days when you feel confused, lonely,
or as though there is no way out,
I want you to ask yourself
the same question I once asked myself
on a day that almost came too late.
“What do I truly want?”
It is such a simple question,
yet somehow it feels heavy enough
to shake something deep inside.
A question trying to find the path
we are supposed to choose—
the path other people say is right,
or the path that at least still allows us to feel
like we have not disappeared
from our own life.
There was a time when I thought about giving up.
I was tired.
Exhausted.
And I no longer understood
what I was forcing myself to continue for.
But in the middle of all that silence,
there was a quiet feeling
slowly speaking up from somewhere deep inside.
A feeling so faint
it felt as though it could disappear at any moment
if I chose not to listen to it.
I cannot explain why,
but somehow I kept feeling that
if I let it disappear this time,
I might regret it
for the rest of my life.
Sometimes the answers we are searching for
were never truly gone.
We were simply afraid to listen to them.
⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻
I still do not fully understand that feeling.
Even though I felt sad,
I did not feel regret.
Somehow,
I felt grateful,
yet tears still quietly fell.
School.
Dreams.
Work.
Sometimes everything feels like it is slowly pulling us away from ourselves,
even when deep down,
we already know
which direction we truly want to walk toward.
Then why does choosing ourselves
become the hardest thing of all?
Maybe the answer we are searching for
is not the best path for everyone else,
but it is the path that,
if we never choose it,
we may regret
for the rest of our lives.
And once you finally choose,
do not regret it—
even on the days you fail,
or on the days you feel weak.
Because at the very least,
you were brave enough
to listen to your own feelings.
Every relationship has a cost.
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